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14 November 2012 @ 03:00 am
One Goodbye Too Late  
A NishiKato drabble I made a while back. I miss them. ╥﹏╥

I’m sad. I know what causes it. I just don’t understand why it causes me to be so.

I’m sad because Ryo left. Everybody is. But this kind of sadness feels different. It feels so final and shattering. Did everybody feel this way when he left? I don’t think so. Then why am I the only one who feels this deep loneliness? Or more like why am I even feeling it? See? I told you I don’t understand.

I have asked my friends and colleagues about this (of course disclosing the fact that it is Ryo I am talking about) and their answers all come out the same. “Well if it isn’t Shige in love!” They would exclaim teasingly. Me? In love? I wanted to laugh. I would know if I am.

Then one day I didn’t find their answer as funny anymore. I started contemplating. I know myself well. I really do. But then how come that outrageous response began to make sense? I felt a suddenly familiar guilt settle in my stomach.

I woke up one morning feeling a whole new kind of sadness. I am in love with Nishikido Ryo and it took me two years and one final goodbye for me to realize it. Now I can’t do anything about it because I no longer have the chance. My arms feel remarkably empty even though Ryo never occupied it.


Current Location: purple room
Current Mood: depresseddepressed
Current Music: crickets